Why on earth has it been damn near impossible to find a plastic splash pool for my freaking patio? Our neighborhood boasts a kiddie pool complete with water falls, etc and a “adult” pool but for some odd reason the kiddie pool is sub-artic year round even though we live in Florida and the average temperature here is Satan’s balls. The bigger pool usually warms up a bit more but there is no way I’m going to attempt the lunacy that is trying to wrangle an 8 month old and a 2 year old  during the day without backup.

So I decide that I want to pick the girls up a cheap little plastic pool for the patio. Enough to cool off a bit, but not require the use of my CRV to transport all the gear necessary just to venture 6 blocks down to our neighborhood pool.

I started my search on Amazon after Target failed me, since we’re all about Prime and the free 2 day shipping and anything that keeps me from having to actually put on pants to get is ok by me. In this case, Amazon didn’t have anything that wasn’t inflatable which is a no go as we have 2 big dogs that have the combined IQ of a Tic Tac and would puncture it before it was even filled.

Toys R Us had it listed online as available in store, so I put pants on and headed out to pick this up 8 dollar bad boy. This was my first trip to Toys R Us in years as we mostly get items from Amazon and Target (along with my bargain hunting abilities) and with the plastic smell, bright lights, and confusing set up, I can promise you it will be my last. I literally wandered about 40 min before someone asked if they could help and then when they pointed the selection of wading pools, they only had 2 gigantic ones with slides that would fit in the back of my faux SUV (aka my little CRV) only if somebody would invent a damn shrink ray already. The two smaller ones were out of stock and the cashier swore to me that she had seen them at Walmart.

Crap…see I hate Walmart…there is no good that has EVER come out of Walmart.  As much as I LOVE a bargain and have been known to score big at a garage sales, vintage shops, and consignment shops (yes I own a 2 dollar bread maker and it kicks anus, thank you very much) Walmart smells like feet and sadness and just going into one makes me want to cower in a corner and cry. Never have I gone into a Walmart looking for something and have actually found what I was looking for.  However, optimism was the name of the game and I was on a quest.

Today’s trip as led me to change my stance of Walmart being useless. My travels there did not procure me the pool, however after witnessing the friendly sales associate cleaning a gigantic rifle at the sports kiosk located just steps from the toy department, I now know where I’ll be holed up during the Zombie Apocalypse….which will be the earliest time I will ever step foot there again.

The quest continued at Sports Authority and to ::gulp:: Big Lots, where I did find a gigantic princess plastic pool that was wafer thin plastic and super slippery on the bottom….because water makes things so much less slick you know and it was the most expensive one I’ve see for that size.  I’ve never been in a Big Lots before and now I know why, it is a hub of overpriced plastic junk and off brand food. I felt like if I sneezed, I’d manage to light the place on fire just based on the fumes emanating from all the chemical ladened products.

Blargh, who knew that a toddler pool would be harder to find then a freaking magical unicorn?