Before I was pregnant with my first daughter I had a potty mouth of epic proportions that only got progressively worse when I was became pregnant. I would coin R-rated phrasings so effortlessly during a fit of road rage that you would think that during those 9 months, I was being scripted by Quentin Tarantino. However, I knew that swearing would have to be curtailed once the niblet arrived since my husband and I both agreed that while kids swearing was kind of funny before we became parents, as parents seeing tots spout expletives was more cringeworthy once we crossed over to the Dark Side.

I managed to keep my tongue in check 98% of the time around my oldest (except when I step on a freaking Lego or block in the middle of the night) and once I got knocked up with numero dos, I only let the f-bombs fly when I wasn’t around the mini me. Now with my hormones in check, we’ve come up with a selection of code terms and more charming sounding swear words (along with the all popular spelling) so that when our niblets get torqued off or frustrated they use phrases that sound pretty damn adorable instead of awkward. I’ll admit that exclaiming “dude” when someone cuts me off is a little less satisfying, but hearing my toddler say “darn it” and “my goodness” instead of something a little more colorful, makes it totally worth it.