Before I was a mom, I used to have this thing called “style” or at least my variation of it. Once upon a time I scoured fashion magazines and bought myself all manner of shoes, clothes, and general accruements of being a woman (as opposed to a mom). I noticed after my first daughter was born that this started me on slightly cheaper track since I knew that anything I was going to wear had to fulfill  the two requirements of being machine washable and having the ability to whip a boob out of it, yup strippers have less easily accessible boobs. I in the interest of saving money for baby gear began shopping more Old Navy sales and vintage/resell shops.

When daughter number 2 was born, this became even worse. Now it has become a challenge to furnish my wardrobe as cheaply as possible. I actually own a dress that I paid a dollar for.  Now I’m so damn cheap that I nearly passed on a 5 dollar sweater at Target yesterday because it was “too expensive”. My kids look like mini fashion models and I’m in Mommy fashion limbo because I’ve gotten so frugal with myself.  My justification is that I don’t want to buy anything cute since I’m still nursing my youngest and I’m pretty sure nothing I buy will fit right after we wean. Plus, I’m hoping the super D cup twins are on loan and will GTFO sometime in the near future so I can wear a bra that doesn’t have straps so thick I can launch a water balloon from its vast spandexy depths and can’t be unsnapped by the front by a toddler (if anyone in the area HASN’T seen my boobs by now, I’d be surprised). At this rate, I’m willing to bet should we ever end up having a third child, I’m going to look like Dobby the House elf.