Ok, I tend to admit I’m not the most patient woman in the world when it comes to frying like bacon in the sun. So, this review may be slightly tainted due to the fact that while the hours of this event were listed from 9am-12pm, they didn’t let us in until 9:25. So we were waiting in a line built with ramshackle boards and rusty nails that stuck out sharp side pointed at oh… exactly toddler height. Adding to the fact that the tickets were a dollar more for the kids then was advertised and just the process of entering the gate made me a cranky and somewhat sweaty mama. The set up was some carnival type games that each kid had to pay a ticket to play. Some games gave the kids plastic spider rings for trying, some were run by kids and just sort of shrugged off (duck pound I’m looking at you) Besides the games, the bouncy slide, and the reptile encounter almost everything was an extra fee (2 dollars for a balloon animal, I think not) and cash only, which sucked since the higher price at the gate cleared out my cash and their ATM literally had rusty nails sticking out of it.

“Arts and Crafts” were a table with crayons and coloring books (and one of the highlights of the trip). There weren’t enough employees to run the trick or treat through the trail so they were only able to do it once an hour and then they closed up all the games so the kids could go through. 2 faults with this…they had the kids go through the house ONLY (I heard a woman on a walkie talkie telling them to reroute because the kids were little and “wouldn’t be able to walk a 1/2 mile” and there was butt loads of broken glass all over the place. So instead of going through the woods, they led us through the haunted house and then out the back where there was all sorts of even more non-kid friendly things about, including the scenic porta johns. Adding insult to potential injury, some of the employees ran out of candy and we were the first group of the day to go through and since I thought the trick or treating was in the woods, I was wielding our single BOB. However,  I was pleased to see that BOB will in fact corner through some of the roughest terrain, including a long room of moldy clothing, broken glass, and various other haunted house interiors.

The day felt like the equivalent of the neighborhood alcoholic attempting to be kid friendly by passing out liquor chocolates. The Petrified Forest may be great at night (especially if liquor is involved) but it is not exactly kid friendly even in the daylight.  However in the eyes of our two year old, she got “Candy, sweet sweet candy” got to pet a snake and a turtle, colored, went on a bouncy slide, and trick or treated. So while the parents may not have been impressed, at least the niblets seemed to have fun albeit not exactly 16 dollars worth of fun. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if our tetanus shots are up to date.